Why Therapy?
Whether you have a friend or family member who is in therapy, have seen commercials or ads promoting it, or see therapists posts on your social media, you may have realized therapy is prevalent now more than ever. Maybe you feel you never needed therapy. Maybe you don’t see the point. Or maybe you’ve heard horror stories of therapists that put a bad taste in your mouth. If you determined therapy isn’t for you, that is completely okay. However, even though I’m a bit biased, there are many benefits of therapy, which we will further explore below.
You Learn More About Yourself
When we open ourselves up to a trained mental health professional, we are giving ourselves the opportunity for someone to see us from a different and outside perspective. Sometimes we don’t understand why we do the things we do or why we make the choices we make, especially when it can hurt us. Therapy can provide insight by gaining awareness and knowledge about ourselves, our thoughts, and our behaviors. You may have noticed it can be easier to see when a friend or family member is making a regretful choice (“he is not good for you!”), but it’s not so easy when it comes to ourselves. Sometimes our choices can be automatic responses, learned behaviors, or to avoid uncomfortable feelings. When working with a skilled therapist, you can work together to uncover potential historical and current influences of your mental health.
You Learn Coping Skills
Have you ever been in a bad place and just didn’t know what to do to get yourself out of it? Honestly, me too. Nothing is working no matter what you try. In therapy, you will gain new coping skills to help climb the ladder out of the dark. That’s not to say you will never feel “bad” again, but you can now choose from an array of tools from your toolbox to take that first step.
It Can Help Your Relationships
When we’re struggling with our mental health, it’s no secret it can take a toll on our relationships. We can avoid social events when we feel anxious, isolate from others when we feel depressed, and more. We aren’t able to show up for the ones we love. How can we do that when it’s hard to even show up for ourselves? It can be a cycle: we are struggling so we abandon our relationships, we abandon our relationships which contributes to our struggle. When we start the process of healing, we are starting the process of learning how to show up for ourselves, and in turn, show up for others. We gradually start to feel in a better place where maybe we can go to that party or go out for coffee with a friend. If relationships is something you value, you will notice the increased fulfillment when we continue to engage in behaviors toward our relationships.
Support
Having family and friends that support you is truly a blessing in life. They provide a shoulder to lean on, lend a sympathetic ear, offer advice, and so on. These people know you best and have your best interest at heart, and the cherry on top, they won’t judge. However, there can be certain drawbacks in opening up to friends and family. A few of my clients have mentioned sometimes feeling like a burden (which can come from our beliefs about ourselves), not wanting advice at the time, or sometimes, they just don’t understand. I could go on. With therapy, you have someone to talk to who will listen non-judgmentally, make an effort to understand you and your situation, and provide non-biased feedback and insight. A good therapist will truly hear you and validate you in your experience while fully being in the moment with you.
You Start to Walk the Path of an Authentic and Fulfilling Life
Oftentimes when we are struggling, we can act of survival versus growth. What I mean by that is, we often use mechanisms to try to get rid of, numb, or avoid pain. We are treading water trying not to drown instead of swimming. As mentioned above, you learn how to manage that pain in a way that can lead toward growth, resilience, courage, and confidence to name a few. For example, in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (a therapeutic style I predominately use), we learn to make room and open ourselves up to difficult inner experiences while engaging in values-based behaviors. What is important and meaningful in your life that you have missed out on? When we tie together the previous four reasons above, we can start to see a different way forward when arriving at the fork in the road. Survival and avoidance of pain, or values and authenticity.
Therapy is a unique and personalized process that is all about you. You are in charge. I want to put a disclaimer out there that yes, there are therapists that may not be a good fit, don't follow ethical guidelines, opinionated, talk about themselves the entire session, and unfortunately, could provide even more harm. I've heard the horror stories as well. I mention this because I want to be transparent with you. I don't want to sweep this reality under the rug. However, there are PLENTY of great therapists out there. Therapists who are passionate about their work, extremely knowledgeable, continue to work hard and further their education to be the best they can be for their clients. I can probably make another post about the qualities of a great therapist.
Again, you are in charge. You get to decide the right fit, the pace, the type of therapy you need, and finally, you are in charge of your life.
